I never..

 Does it supposed to be hurt so much like this, loving someone that never makes me feel being appreciated. That makes me feel like I never good enough.

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If you ever leave..

If you ever leave, I definitely not going healed by myself because I can not. Tell me how do I live without touching your skin? Without your smell? Without see your eyes? Without hear your voice? Without hug your back? Tell me before you do, please.
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I hope people can diving into my thought and see

I was scared. I really scared. I've thought nobody was scared of losing me anymore. Even you. I'm such a messed with all of my own thoughts, all of my negative thoughts that destroy me in the end. I'm too early judge and conclude about all the thing that you've done to me. I literally didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanna see, I'm craving for a prove that there's someone who's scared to lose me, I just wanna being the one you need. I'm on that lvl of insecure before. I'm so sorry. I can't watching you suffering alone from a pain again it's hurt me too. Please do believe me. You're the only one that I want I'm sure. I'm really sorry. I'm beyond speechless for telling me what I feel. You will have no idea how much I love you.
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Loving Someone Hurts

People once asked me, what will I choose between loving someone or loved by someone? I answered "loved by someone". "Why?" they asked me again, "cause we dont need to wondering all night are they really love us or not, what should we do for them to make them stay, through the exhausting anxiety, jealousy and insecurity we know they still love us the same." he noded to my answer, well I know loving someone is hurts. Knowing they'll be fine without us knowing they have nothing to lose in us maybe, meanwhile we are struggling to dying from pain without them, whatever they did we're still accept it even it's really hurt us, because, we love them .. selfishly deep. We know, the fact of staying together is hard but stay apart will be harder for us. We know fight and losing an arguments for them every week is easier than losing them forever. We really know that. And yes, I do have someone, that I really love. I have someone to fight and lose an arg...
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